Dream On

Girl of my sweet dreams
Close enough to touch your skin
Yet so out of reach

You make me happy
Life's troubles turn transparent
You're my drug of choice

Too bad you're perfect
And I am something much less
Because I like you




Waiting for You

No one gets inside your emotional base
Forced smiles keep true feelings off of your face
You hide in a shelter of make-up and lies
But your dark little secret burns in your eyes

Struggle to keep the world happy all day
It only gets harder as you melt away
Playing the role of someone you're not
Inside, the real you is beginning to rot

Stop worrying about things like make-up and hair
Only shallow people judge based on what you wear
Their meaningless acceptence won't get you very far
True friends will respect you for who you really are

I want to free you from your dark iron box
But only you have the key to the old rusty locks
High school drama made you feel safe in this cage
But college is your chance to write a new page

Hopefully these words bring you some light
The last thing i want is to start another fight
Come out of your fort and breath some fresh air
Enjoy sincere friendships with people who really care




You Won't Understand

My lips stay sealed because no one will understand
But feelings escape with this pen in my hand
Personal struggles laid out in ink
Certainly worried of what people will think...

Lying in bed by a pillow soaked in tears
Broken by stress and over-taken by fears
Searching for the answers to the problems of life
Hoping for something better than a gun or knife

Most only see my optimistic half
Reality is often lost behind a smile or laugh
Reality is a depression as deep as a well
Lonely and lost in a secluded little Hell

Too much of my life has been wasted away
I'm unable to face the price I now must pay
And despite the promise I vowed to keep
I can't stop the nightmares that plague my sleep

I've had more than a fair share of hits and falls
Most people scare me so I hide behind walls
My words go unsaid in fear of rejection
Thinking people expect unobtainable perfection

It's hard to ask for any help I seek
Even friends can be cruel when they know where you're weak
Sometimes I'm an outlet for undeserved abuse
My problem-filled life becomes an easy excuse

I don't know how much more I can go through
I hope to be gone before I reach twenty-two
Will I ever live to be a "man",
Or was that left out of God's plan?




Sleepless Night

As I lay here in bed
Pillow pressed to my head
I wish I was dead
Those things that you said

I feel like a creep
And I'm thinking too deep
So I cant get to sleep
I'll lie here and weep

I knew in advance
I'm not good with romance
But when you gave me a chance
It made my heart dance

Now things have passed
It ended so fast
I know I never asked
But I'd hoped it would last

I cant run your race
This gun's in my face
Just couldn't keep the pace
Tired of second place

The guys you like are fake
You give more than you take
How many times will you break
Before you see this mistake

You think they are cool
Don't be their fool
Like others in this school
You'll get used like a tool

It's a shame
Things are so lame
Put an end to this game
See things the same

Now it's getting late
Nights like this I hate
I guess I'll appreciate
When I don't have to wait

It's hard when I'm depressed
But I'll do my best
To get a little rest
With this pain on my chest




Just Incase Love's Lost

Lost and confused
I almost feel used
I guess I was wrong
Wrong all along

Was it my mistake
Do I seem fake
Was I a jerk
Why didn't things work

You're the one I adore
I only want more
You said I was the one
I thought this would be fun

I guess I'm to blame
We don't see things the same
Things weren't meant to be
I can't make you want me

And I know I'm a dope
I should give up hope
You may not know why
But I still want to try

You're special in every way
Thinking of you brightens my day
You're my definition of sweet
Being yours would make me complete

If things don't work out
There isn't a doubt
We'll still be friends
Friends til the end





I wish I could tell you what I have to say
But I'm here and you're so far away
I've been holding this in for quite awhile
My words were trapped behind a nervous smile
But now I'm ready to bring this to your attention
Even though I know it may lead to my rejection
So here is the request I wish to send
Will you be my girlfriend?

My feeling were bottled but they aren't fake
Perhaps not asking you sooner was a mistake
If you prefer, your decision can wait
And I understand if I just came too late
I know that there are many others that like you too
Most of them are closer and can spend more time with you
Though I'm not the type that likes to brag or boast
I'm confident that I'm the one that loves you most

I always try to spend time with you when I'm in town
You're my favorite person to be with when I come down

[10.15.02 (never completed)]




Dear Jenn,

'Absence makes the heart grow fonder,'
I know this is true as I sit here and ponder,
I'm so alone when you're away,
Hearing you on the phone makes my day.

Being your boyfriend is really great,
It was worth all the days I had to wait,
Even those days weren't so bad,
I'll never forget the good times we had.

Nights spent talking til six in the morn,
The day you realized I stole your corn,
Laying around and watching your shows,
Calling on your birthday and asking for Jenn Rose.

The night you chased me around in the snow,
Times spent sharing things no one else will know,
Putting all those pictures on up your walls,
Talking about deserted islands and tropic waterfalls.

Being there for you when you needed to cry,
I still remember the bright green in your eye,
Cuddling together and wondering if we'd kiss,
It's times like these I will miss.

Even with all the fun in our past,
The future will be even more of a blast,
When we go back to school thing won't be so new,
We'll have some experience and know what to do.

Even though I won't be right down the hall,
Whenever you need me just give me a call,
Whether you want to cuddle or need to go study,
Count on me to always be your buddy.

I know that we are both nervous now,
I'm sure we'll make it through together somehow,
We'll help each other out along the way,
And perhaps share a hug at the end of each day.

And with the rough times we may go through,
I'll never get sick of being with you,
Though you say 'never say never,'
I want to be with you forever.

Love always,




Someone Loves You

I love you,
But I don't know what to do.

In this poem I will give you my heart,
Even if you reject it or tear it apart,
I can't just keep this bottled inside,
And if it's for the worst, at least I tried.

Our friendship means so much to me,
Friends forever is the way it will be.
Your love is what keeps me here,
The thought of you leaving brings me fear.

I think you're the greatest person ever,
You're beautiful, sweet, smart, and clever.
You're such a great person inside and out,
Don't try to argue because I have no doubt.

I know I must not be as cool as the rest,
My looks and intelligence just aren't the best.
Perhaps sometimes I just don't have a clue,
But I'm always trying to be perfect for you.

I guess you're haunted from relationships past,
But don't make the previous one your last.
You think you can't have a boyfriend anymore,
But not all guys are simply looking to score.

I want to be your special one,
The guy that brings you smiles and fun.
Even with summer on its way,
I wouldn't mind starting today.

I hope this poem doesn't make things strange,
No matter what, our friendship won't change.
I just had some stuff I wanted to share,
Most importantly, I wanted you to know I care.

I love you,
But I don't know what to do.





Dear Ex-girlfriend,

I never imagined we'd be apart,
Losing you broke my heart.
Even after going our separate ways,
I still think about you everyday.

Now I'm on a bus coming home,
The bus is full but I feel alone.
Thoughts of you drift in my head,
Just as they do at night while in bed.

Memories of you make me smile and cry,
Your warm smile, that look in your eye.
Your touch and scent I truly miss,
As well as the energy from your kiss.

I've never dared to watch you undress,
You're sweet and innocent and that's best.
There have been times when you've shocked me a bit,
You kissed me by your parents and put my hand on your chest.

As the bus grows nearer mile by mile,
The thought of seeing you soon makes me smile.
A baby cries, the man behind me chatters,
Being with you again is all that really matters.

There's no girl like you that I know,
I hope our friendship only continues to grow.
You probably think that I'm obsessed,
But I?m just lonely and a bit depressed.

Though I'm no longer your boyfriend,
I'll still be here for you until the end.
I wrote this poem to give you a clue,
Of how much I really care for you.

Your friend forever,